We often hear that bacon makes everything better, but as a vegan, bacon is definitely on my do not buy list. There are times, though, when something with a smoky flavor and crunchy texture would be the perfect addition to a sandwich, wrap, or casserole topping. What’s a veggie girl to do?

Fake it! With these simple recipes, you’ll get the smoky, salty, crunchy flavor, without the oink, by using eggplant, coconut, or soy to stand in for Wilbur and Babe.

Oven Roasted Eggplant Fake-un

I stumbled upon this idea after growing way too many Japanese eggplants in my garden. One or two eggplants at a time is a good thing. An armload of them, all at once, means a mad scramble to use them up, make something tasty, and not be sick of eggplant when I’m done.

While searching for ideas for what to do with my eggplant haul, I read on a message board about how slicing Japanese eggplants into long, thin planks, and baking them, left a crispy edge. “Kind of like the edge of bacon”, someone remarked. Bacon? Hmm. What if I take it a step further, and season it with bacon salt? That’s how this recipe came about.

Ingredients

• Eggplant. The long, thin Japanese eggplants work particularly well for this.
• J&D Bacon Salt
• Safflower or other high-heat oil
• Non-stick cooking spray

Instructions

1. Cut the eggplant into thin slices, and then into strips. Think bacon-sized strips.
2. Spread the strips in a baking pan, and season liberally with Bacon Salt. Toss to coat with seasoning, and let sit for ten minutes. The salt will draw some of the liquid out of the eggplant.
3. Blot the eggplant with paper towels to remove more liquid.
4. Toss the salted strips with a little bit of oil.
5. Spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Spread the strips out flat on the sheet.
6. Bake for about an hour, or until crispy, turning occasionally.

Tips

• Not all flavors of J&D Bacon Salt are vegan. Be sure to check the ingredients, or their web site, to ensure you’re getting a product that is completely free from animal products.
• If you can’t find Bacon Salt, try smoked salt. It will give a similar smoky flavor to the eggplant, while pulling out the excess water.
• Eggplant bacon is best eaten while warm and crispy. It does store in an airtight container, but will lose its crispness.

Coconut Bacon

Coconut bacon has a smoky, salty flavor, and the right amount of crunch, similar to well done, crispy bits of conventional bacon. While it can be purchased already made up, it can be expensive. Fortunately, the basic ingredients to whip up a big batch are relatively inexpensive, and easy to find.

One of the keys to really good coconut bacon is to use larger flaked coconut, rather than the shredded stuff sold for baking in most stores. Another is to cook for just a few minutes at a time, tossing completely in between, to get it brown without burning. The last is perhaps the most difficult: let the coconut bacon cool completely on the hot baking sheets before removing to store, to get a little extra crisping without burning.

Ingredients

• 4 Tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 Tablespoons Liquid Smoke
• 1 Tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 Tablespoon maple syrup
• 1 Tablespoon apple cider vinegar
• 1/8 teaspoon smoked paprika, or to taste
• 3-1/2 cups unsweetened flaked coconut

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Line two metal baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. Mix all the ingredients except the coconut together in a large bowl.
3. Add coconut to bowl, and toss until all the liquid is absorbed.
4. Divide the wet coconut between the two baking sheets, and spread in an even layer.
5. Bake for about 20 minutes, tossing every 3-4 minutes. Watch during cooking, because the time between perfectly done and burnt is very short.
6. Remove from oven. The coconut should be nicely browned, and a bit crispy.
7. Let the coconut cool on the warm baking sheets. This will give it that last bit of crispness.

Tips

• Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator. It should keep well for several weeks without losing any flavor or texture, but honestly, this never lasts for more than a few days at my house!
• Even if you’re minding your fats, don’t omit the olive oil from this recipe. I tried a batch without, to see if I could make this an oil-free recipe, and the bacon really didn’t crisp up the way the batches with oil did.

TVP Bacon Bits

Textured vegetable protein, or TVP, is a soy-based meat replacement. It’s often used as an extender at fast food restaurants, to help beef go farther. It can be found in many grocery stores as granules, which are yellow, hard, and virtually flavorless. They have to be rehydrated before they can be used, but once they hit water and spices, TVP granules can turn into all sorts of delicious things, including a passable vegan substitute for those bright red fake bacon bits sold at your local big box store.

Ingredients

• 3 Tablespoons water
• 2 Tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 Tablespoon nutritional yeast
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon Liquid Smoke
• 1/2 teaspoon maple syrup
• 1/2 cup TVP granules

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees. Line a metal baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Pour everything but the TVP into a bowl, and whisk the ingredients together.
3. Pour the TVP into the liquid, and keep mixing until all it has all been absorbed, and the bottom of the bowl is dry.
4. Bake for 30 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes to keep the bits from sticking or burning.
5. Let cool completely on the metal sheet, to give them that last little bit of crispness.

Tips

• Because the TVP expands when it absorbs the liquid, and doesn’t shrink all the way back down when cooked, you’ll end up with slightly more than the 1/2 cup you started with.
• These smoky, salty crumbles are best used as a garnish on salads, baked potatoes, or vegetables.
• Store in an airtight container in the fridge. They should keep quite a long time, although mine seem to disappear after a few days.